


Give Honest Answers, & For The Love Of God, Don't Say You're Sorry

by MavenCrow



Category: Now You See Me (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, NYSM2 Spoilers, Self Harm, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, unsuccessful attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:37:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7700623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MavenCrow/pseuds/MavenCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somethings going wrong inside his horseman and Dylan is desperate to find and fix it, before he loses someone again. He needs answers but will Atlas be able to give them to him, or will Atlas disappear under his own demons?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Are You?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Sound of Silence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269679) by [The_Green_Eyed_Girl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Green_Eyed_Girl/pseuds/The_Green_Eyed_Girl). 
  * Inspired by [The Sound of Silence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269679) by [The_Green_Eyed_Girl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Green_Eyed_Girl/pseuds/The_Green_Eyed_Girl). 



> I was inspired by GreenEyedGirls piece, Sound of Silence, and I just had to write. Next chapter will be up soon. Please comment and critique!

It had been 2 days since Atlas's door had opened.

Apparently, breakfast on the third day was not going to be an exception. Dylan stared at the entrance to the hall from the kitchen informal living area in the observatory as he waited for his coffee to brew. All of the other horsemen were acting normally, Jack and Lula who were still in the new love stage of their relationship, were out trying to find a corner to snog. Merritt sat on the couch reading a book. Atlas however had not come out of his room since they settled down in the observatory, making Dylan start to worry.

"You know they say a watched kettle never boils." Said McKinnney as he flipped a page.

"Somethings wrong, he's not okay, I've been worried ever since he gave Li that tarot deck." Said Dylan, tapping his fingers on the counter, not looking at the coffee maker.

"Danny-boy has sulked before, he'll come out."

"Who said we were talking about Daniel?" Merritt dropped his booked and raised an eyebrow at Dylan.

"Alright, I'm worried."

Merritt looked into Dylan's eyes. "More than you're admitting to yourself." He then cleared his throat. "I would suggest you go to Buffy and sort it out, unless you're otherwise engaged."

Dylan nodded, pushing himself off the counter and walked to the hall, just before he crossed the doorway, he stopped and asked. "Buffy?"

The laughter fell silent as he walked down the corridor towards the room besides his own.

 

Dylan stopped at Atlas's door and raised his fist. He heard the noise of shuffling behind the door. If he heard that noise it meant Danny, was moving. _It's not like I really have the right to disturb him, like Merritt said, I have never been bothered by his sulks before._ Dylan thought. He took his fist away from the door and turned around to leave. Then his ears heard a thud. He spun round and tried the lock. It didn't budge. He asked"Atlas, are you okay?"

Silence on the other side of the door. "Atlas open the door."

"Open the door now Atlas." Dylan started to shake the lock.

"If you don't open the door by the time I count to 10, I'm getting Jack to pick your goddamn lock."

"1."

"2" He heard movement on the other side,

"3"

"4-" The door opened, Dylan stared into the eyes on Daniel Atlas. He wasn't a mentalist, but he could see something was wrong, and that Danny hadn't been sleeping as well as not eating. "What?"

"I'm just making sure you're alive in there, Atlas, we haven't seen you in days."

Danny looked away at the word "alive". "I'm-Im fine Rhodes, well, Shrike." He waved in a shooing motion. "You can leave now."

Daniel started to shut the door. Dylan shoved his foot in the door. "Atlas, you can't keep withdrawing from the group. We need to work like a single organism."

Atlas looked almost wistful. "You will, you guys will. You'll be fine."

Dylan felt a shiver at that. In the FBI he had learned to trust those base impulses, instincts and hunches. Dylan had been watching Daniel for 2 and half years more or less, probably more. He couldn't place what was wrong with Danny, who hadn't gone by Danny since Henley left, but he wasn't going to let it rest either. He looked into the others eyes. "Atlas, let me in."

The showman seemed to deflate under his gaze, the rings under his eye grew more pronounced as he ran his bony hand through his slightly greasy hair. Atlas moved away from the door. It wasn't an invitation but Dylan would decided it was better than nothing. He pushed open the door and stepped inside his partners room (It wasn't exactly favouritism that made Atlas his partner, as well as his team, but rather Atlas was the only one who ever planned anything. He often made it a lot easier on Dylan, even during the first show, where Atlas had filled the gaps in his 30 year vendetta.) Atlas was hovering over his desk randomly moving books and his laptop on his desk.

Dylan plonked himself on the neatly made bed, his posture making clear he wasn't about to leave. "Atlas, how are you?"

The reply came back just as he predicted, Atlas stuttered slightly as his fingers tapped against his glass desk. "Fine, fine Thank you. Now if you're done-."

"How are you really?" Daniel swallowed, his fingers tapped faster. "I'm, fine." He looked too nervous for it to be believable. But Dylan decided to switch tactics. "How's the unpacking going?"

"I haven't bothered, there's no need to." Danny quickly turned to face the wind.

 Not unpacking was odd, for Daniel anyway, according to Jack, Danny usually unpacked first. This wasn't the only thing that was bugging Dylan's nerves however. Dylan went over to the desk and picked up the book that Atlas had taken off his shelf.

Flipping the old and slightly dusty book over he read the title, _Occult Demonology & Lorebook_ He wasn't surprised that the eye had it, they had books on every subject concerning magic, but he was surprised that Atlas was reading it. He was about to set it down when he saw a paper and pen underneath the book. Surprised he put the book down beside him, glances at Atlas's back, then leans over to read the note.

The first line was scratched out, but if he looked closely he could still make it out.

 _ ~~Dylan, I'm sorry,~~ ~~~~_-


	2. What Are You Doing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dylan confronts Danny, realizing that they are in deeper than either he ever thought they were, and then some.

" _Dylan?_ Dylan?"

  
His eyes broke contact with the last words of the note, the last of the 17 lines, written in, J.Daniels Atlas's script. Daniel's words breaking him out of the nightmare he saw in those words.  
As he turned Dylan holds the note in his hand, plainly visible to other magician. "Daniel?"  
The showman visibly flinches at the sight of the note. He gaze tries to meet Dylan's eyes but retreats to the floor. "I -it's just- not what-."  
Dylan can't restrain himself. Atlas wants, _his_ Daniel wants to kill himself, out of fucking guilt. Whats worse was that he was planning to lie about it, so he could leave Dylan, forever.. His fist hits Danny, catching his arm, held above his face. Despite blocking the punch it's still enough to unbalance the underfed illusionist. Danny scrambles away from him, his face filled with terror. He backs himself under the window of his room. It's only when Daniel's back hits the wall, and his head the windowsill, does Dylan manage to push aside his emotional reaction.  
He desperately tries to swallow his fear of losing Danny, his anger at Danny, at Danny's almost abandonment of him, of them-. It was time to focus, later he could be hurt, bitter, sad, worried, but now he needed to focus on Daniel Atlas's problem.  
Dylan's eyes searched around the room quickly. Closet, meaning belts and other methods of strangulation, razor top corner of glass desk -God damn it, why did the love of his life have that in his room? Glass desk, breakable glass. Bottle of prescription pills on night stand by bed, unsure how many taken. Playing cards, somewhere, probably on Atlas. Open window on upper floor, with Atlas crouched beneath it.

He knows he can't call anyone now, so Dylan is on his own. "Danny? Daniel? I need you to look at me."  
Atlas, he tried to distance himself from this emotionally by thinking of him as Atlas, not Danny, his Danny, raised his head then dropped it. Dylan took this as a response. "You've been more withdrawn lately, and I read the note you just tried to hide. Danny are you thinking of commit suicide? answer me honestly please."  
Atlas drew his legs in towards himself, hugging them to his chest like a small child. Dylan waited until Atlas opened his mouth. He closed it then opened it again, then closed, as if fighting with himself. Dylan stayed still, not wanting to scare Daniel. Finally Daniel nodded.  
Dylan's throat went as dry as sandpaper. This was bad. Very very bad. "How?"  
Atlas trembling hand pointed to the pills. "I didn't want to leave a mess."  
"Is that your Clomipramine?"  
Atlas shook his head. "I haven't taken any in three weeks, when my stockpile ran out, I couldn't get any more . Got this from the cabinet."  
"How many?" Dylan felt the words rush out of his mouth. If Atlas had started taking them, he could be running against the clock, before Atlas's body began to shut down.  
"I planned to start tonight, at 7, I didn't want Jack trying to force me out for supper to find, not like what happened with Rebecca." Atlas buried his face in his knees.  
After supper, just in case his teammates decided to call on him. Atlas had also practically admitted that he'd tried this before. At least once. Dylan restrained himself from just grabbing Daniel and never letting go. He was shaken back to reality when Danny started to speak.

"Dylan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry for Macu and-." Dylan bent down and grabbed Danny's shoulders. He pulled Danny into his chest, cradling him. If Dylan had his way he would never let go of him. He whispered reassurances into his illusionist's short hair, as Daniel started to sob into his chest. Eventually Dylan raised his head.  
"Come on, let's get you out of this room."  
He felt Danny's grip tighten. "Please Dylan don't tell the others."  
"Danny, you know I can't promise that, don't try and make me, you won't win on that one." He wasn't giving him any chances, Dylan wouldn't leave any stone unturned if it meant his lover's safety.  
"But they'll hate me even more, they won't listen to me anymore anyway but-."  
Dylan pressed him harder into his chest, stopping the flow of words. "The other Horsemen won't hate you Danny, even if they don't understand your reasons why."  
Dylan turned around, gently guiding Danny out of his room. He closed the door behind him gently, he personally wasn't about to let Danny go back in there for a long time, at not without barring the window and breaking the lock. He saw Mckinnney poking his head around the corner, only to take one look at Danny in Dylan's and duck behind the wall, but within yelling distance of Dylan.  
Dylan shuffled Daniel into the room next door, his room, feeling a flash of anger. If all had gone according to Danny's plan, that night he would have fallen into dreams while his love was fell into a much more permanent sleep. He guided Danny to the bed, finally letting go of him after he sat on the bed. He stared at him for a minute, then decided he could turn a  
Unlike Atlas's room, his room was filled with random items, pictures sticky tacked to the wall showing possible new targets. Dylan always believed you needed a paper copy, even if Danny had a way more organized system on his laptop. He preferred physically touching pieces of a problem or a puzzle, because it helped him to come up with solutions. It led to arguments some days, but if Danny had been using paper copies, Dylan might have missed the note on his desk.

He looked on his desk for his 6 files. Before he had recruited the Horsemen he'd looked into their past, and each had a file on his desk. When the Eye settled them into the new HQ they had given Dylan his possessions from his own apartment, the first thing he had checked was that the files were still there, untouched. Henley's was the smallest, Atlas's was by far the largest. Dylan had known the background didn't completely match up, or make sense but he had left it, after all Atlas was one of the few who could have even attempted the Four Horsemen tour. He had been the leader, the organizer and the irritating voice of calm before Dylan had stepped in, in essence Daniel was the originally the glue of the horsemen, the person who gave it stability in the shows, even if he didn't offer emotional support. So Dylan didn't look to see the skeletons in the closet. Now, he realized that was a grave error he needed to fix. He shut the folder quickly then turned to his closest (say what you want, but Dylan always hung up his clothes first thing when moving in, saved him time and thought in the morning).  
He pulled out his smallest sweatpants, and a t-shirt. He put them into Danny's lap. "Here, put this on."  
"Why?"  
"I can't trust you with a belt, or hidden pockets right now Kay?"  
"I'm not going-."  
"Bullshit! You were about to Danny. Please don't hide behind your ego again, you need help and you know it."  
Atlas seemed to shrink into himself. He dropped his gaze from Dylan to the floor. Dylan sat beside him on Dylan's bed. He reached for Atlas's shoulder trying to comfort him. After a few seconds Atlas knocked the hand off and started to unbutton his shirt, from the collar down.  
"Sorry."  
"You don't need to be sorry, but please do what I'm asking."

Dylan looked away to give Atlas a sense of privacy. However he continued to watch Daniel, thinking Atlas couldn't see him. He saw his fellow horseman's take off his jacket and starting to put on his own clothes. Atlas was skinner than he expected but there was nothing life threatening, yet. Atlas coughed subtly to let Dylan know he could stop pretending.

Atlas was looking directly into his eyes, trying not to show his fear. Dylan wondered what Atlas was most afraid of; was it Dylan? What is embarrassment? Or did Danny really believe that they would turn against him? That they already were against him?  
  
He glanced at Danny as he grasped the door handle. He needed to know what Atlas thought, fast, before it became too late.  
.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the second chapter, if you did, or if you didn't leave a comment below!  
> -The drug mentioned is the most common drug used for OCD, so it would be the one that Atlas would most likely use. It has a list of side affects, and withdrawal symptoms. If you want more info look at Wikipedia. I found that was the most detailed, but concise source, that is pretty neutral on the drug.  
> -The reason there are 17 lines in Atlas's draft note is because in GreenEyedGirl's fic, her note had 16 lines. This is 16 +1 (the line that's scratched out.) it's not meant to be the same note, but I wanted to put in some sort of Easter egg from her fic into the chapter.  
> The next chapter will be bringing in the other Horsemen, including Merritt. I'm also considering bringing some of members of the eye.


	3. What The Fuck Is Wrong (With You)?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone one asks questions, for better or for worse.

  
  
The other horsemen were in the kitchen, when the two came into their living area, which was a combination of the small kitchen and a living room. Lula was reading on one of the couches and Merritt was lounging on the counter, drinking Dylan's coffee. Merritt gave Dylan a long look, before turning to stare at Atlas. He turns back to Dylan with a frown.  
Dylan deliberately looks at Merritt than back at Atlas, hoping the hypnotist will understand.  
He's not sure if Merritt did when he opens his mouth. "Ah, so glad you can you could join us. Care to help me finish our leaders cup of Joe?"  
Daniel shook his head. "No, No, thank you McKinnney. I pretty sure "being a singular organism" does not mean drinking out of someone else's cup, which is a disgusting habit by the way."

Dylan breathed a sigh of relief, Daniel was acting almost normally. Nothing bad had happened as soon as they entered.  
Merritt shrugged. "I keep telling you, it tastes better when it's someone else's."  
"I will take your word for it." Danny replied, his shoulders relaxing.  
Dylan went over to the fridge and started searching for food that could be handled on a light stomach. He felt Merritt could take over watching Danny for a few minutes. He heard the door slam open.

  
"Hey Merritt, I got those weird cookie things you wanted, they call them biscuits here. Is Danny finished sulking? Cause if not Dylan's going to blow something -." Jack was talking a mile a minute, not really stopping at Lula's squawk of surprise and walked over to the kitchen, practically jumping.  
"-The first person I met said I sounded American, isn't rude here to comment on people accents? Anyway where Dylan?-"  
Dylan finally made a choice, grabbing a bag of pears and stood up from the fridge, clearing his throat. He looked at Atlas who was had tensed up again, frankly more than before. It didn't take a mentalist to see that he wanted to find a corner to hide in, away from the others. _I'm forgetting that just because he can act fine, doesn't mean he is, damn it._ Dylan cleared his throat again, louder.

  
Jack spun round. " Hey Atlas, nice sweats. Hey Dylan, how's it going?"  
"Jack, can you settle down a bit? please." Dylan spared one last glance at Atlas, getting an eye roll out of Merritt. He gestured towards the door, then at Jack. "Merritt, make sure Atlas actually eats something, and keeps it down. I'm going to talk to Jack for a minute."  
He heard a slight noise of protest from Atlas. He turned to face him.  
"You don't need to tell them." Atlas stood in the corner, he had his calmest, most arrogant mask on display for everyone to see. His hands moved liked they wanted a deck of cards to shuffle. "You don't have any right-."

  
Dylan glared at him. Hard. "Bullshit, we're a team Danny, and frankly you know that they have every right," He moved closer into Danny's personal space. "Unless you want to tell them how close they really were to sharing the HQ with a corpse? How long did you thought it would be before someone got him to pick the lock? Hours, days? When the smell of rotting flesh was in the hall?" His hands held Daniel's shoulders, resisting the urge to shake him.

"That you not only thought of their quirks, their habits and checkups, but planned for them? Like it's one big trick, like this is a joke to you?" Atlas wouldn't meet his eyes, they darted, fishes trying to avoid nets, to avoid his stare, a few inches away. "Do you?"

  
Atlas tried to met his gaze and Dylan briefly saw something, something in Danny's eye, before Atlas looked down and shook his head.  
Dylan tried to soften his tone. "I'm going to tell Jack and Lula, outside while you stay Merritt, Alright? Danny, look at me, or talk to me."  
Danny's shoulders tensed, it was the only warning Dylan got before Danny spat, directly into his eye.

Dylan sprung back and swore. Wiping the spit from his eye, he glanced at Daniel. He was about to make a comeback about maturity, when he realized Danny was shaking slightly, and seemed, afraid? Defiant,definitely, but Dylan, had seen that look before, often actually, when in a room with a one way mirror, and cuffed to table. He shook his head, he couldn't afford to feel more guilty about this. He turned to the frozen Jack, who's eyed and mouth was wide. Then to Lula who was covering her mouth in shock, though her expressive face flashed through emotions, like lighting.  
"You two, come with me."

 

They looked at each other and followed him, through the living area, and into the staircase that led to Dylan's "office". They stopped there but Dylan shook his head and kept walking. He needed the space to breath. To think about what just happened. Finally he moved the hidden door to the office open, let the them through, then shut it. "Now we can talk while Merritt takes care of Atlas."  
Jack stayed frozen,not looking at Dylan at all. Lula glanced at both of them. Finally she broke the silence. "Dylan, what the fuck, happened back there?"  
He scratched his head. "I got angry, scared really, but I didn't mean to get that upset. He just got under my skin." He paced around the room.  
Lula waved her arms as if trying to blow smoke away from her face. "I'm pretty sure about that one already. I meant, what was your speech about " the smell of rotting flesh in the hall" sounded pretty ominous." Her smile was strained as if trying to think Dylan was kidding around, but knowing he wasn't."  
Dylan bit his lip and sat down. He clasped his hands, leaning forward towards Lula slightly. "I'll start from the beginning."  
"This morning, I went to get Danny out of his room. He let me in, a few minutes later, I found a draft of a suicide note. Confronted him, found out he planned to do it."  
Lula looked at him. "When? Like today, or just some vague time in the future? cause it might be easier if this was vaguer planning then normal for Atlas."  
"Tonight, exactly after 7pm. Meticulously planned as far as I can tell, he hasn't talk a lot about it. He factored us all in to it." He shook his head. "If I hadn't gone to him this morning, he would have been dead by tomorrow."

Lula took in a breath. "Well, shit. Now what are we going to do about it?"  
Dylan looked at her, raising an eyebrow questioningly.  
She answered back with a solid gaze. "We can't go about this half ass, the last time we did anything like that, you were visited the Chinese fishes, in a safe. Atlas from what I've seen does a lot, if not all of the planning right? And he's not someone how forgets or forgives easily. We can't shut him out of the plans, because he'll feel like he's lost control, which he has. We all need to do some research, and none of us should leave this room till we have some idea of what we're dealing with, right Jack?"

  
They both looked at him. He seemed to unfreeze, tears starting to form in his eyes. "Guys, I need gonna get some air, I need to think. Dylan do you know why Danny, Danny wanted to die?"  
Dylan shook his head. Jack seemed to break even further.  
Lula got up and hugged him. "Just don't go to far, Kay?"  
Jack nodded, then half ran half walked out of the office's main door.  
"Don't worry Dylan, he'll be back. He's think of Atlas as family, he's also pretty sure Atlas does to."

  
Dylan asked her. "Why are you so calm?"  
Lula smiled tiredly. "I watched my mum stab my dad through the neck. Police came, ambulance came, everything was a mess. I needed cope, not stop to think, not to get upset. Tomorrow, it might catch up to me, right now we need a strategy."  
..,...  
Notes:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter wasn't my favourite, but I felt this was the most accurate thing to happen. My original summary had been "In Which the Horsemen experience Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome." Lula's reaction is based off of my own reaction, I feel that she and Merritt would the only ones to really cope with the situation immediately.  
> There are plenty of reasons why Dylan is as angry as he is, many relatives and friends of people committing suicide react with anger first. I felt that because of Dylan's protective nature he would immediately start get angry with anyone or anything who threatened his horsemen. Including Daniel Atlas.  
> Now just like with the last chapter I'm going to leave a hint for the next chapters  
> Chapter 4: "Dylan, now you realize -." "There's a time and a place for it, and this isn't it."  
> Chapter 5: " Was this too for them?" "I'm more a little taken aback by Mr.Shrike's earlier remarks."  
> Next Chapter will be up soon, and will contain Merritt and Danny.


	4. Why? Talk to the hand, Hypnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merritt searches for answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is focusing on Danny's perspective, however most chapters will still focus on Dylan's pov.

 

Danny kept his gaze to the floor, as he heard Dylan telling the others to come with him. He knew he shouldn't have reacted, but it as just so hard. He tried desperately in his head to use any of his tricks for calming himself. Trying to imagine the sky, calming, stilling. It wasn't working. He just kept thinking of what Dylan said. Danny wanted to not be as he was, a complete mess, he knew he was wrong, but the urge to end, delete, erase everything-.  
He felt Merritt's smoothed palm on his right shoulder. McKinnney must have decided to wait until the other Horsemen left the room before approaching him. _Why did he wait? Why would Merritt bother? He's made it perfectly clear that he thinks I'm an arrogant son of bitch, who makes a better floozie than magician._ Danny thought, as he heard Merritt clear his throat.

"Danny-boy? Dylan's left, so why don't we move this chit-chat over to the couch? My knees would greatly appreciate it."  
Danny nodded numbly, and moved towards the couch. He didn't sit though, and his hands were moving, pinching, tapping, in contrast to his black expression, and stiff shoulders.  
"Sit down."  
He sat. He glanced at Merritt as the hypnotist flopped into the cushy arm chair opposite. Danny clasped his hands in front of him, stopping his twitching.  
"Look at me Atlas."  
He didn't. "So you can do your 'thing' on me? I told you before, I'm not interested."

That he heard Merritt sigh and get up. He thought Merritt was going to get a drink when he felt a presence by his side and a arm wrapped around his shoulders. He stilled, trying to figure out the mentalist's next move.  
"Danny, now I'm gonna be honest with you, showing my hand on the table so to speak. If you don't respond to anything, we'll be wasting our time, and later we will try again. Now if you try to meet me half way, this can go smoothly, and when we see the others we can say we actually did something. If you start acting like an asshole, we're gonna have a problem here, and next time it won't be just me who sees you under. Now I know you want to stay as private as possible, so for the sake of your own self interest, don't try to leave the room or get off this coach without my say so. Capiche ?"  
Danny nodded.  
He felt Merritt get of the couch and return to his seat. This time Danny looked him dead in the eye. He mentally challenged the hypnotist to do his worse. He dropped his stage mask completely, something he'd never bothered to do with Merritt or Jack. After all, he wore this face, the image of the smartest guy in the room continuously and he often forgot, especially over these last 5 years, what was real and what wasn't. He looked at Merritt, and stated. "Do your worst."

Merritt tipped his hat, Atlas could see the gears turning in Merritt's head. "Let's start with the basics, something simple. Your favourite animal is, dog, cat, Cat."

Atlas nodded, wondering at the basic . McKinnney must have noticed because he then spoke. "The reason I'm asking this is to establish a base line, a starting point for both of us. Now I want you to answer these questions with a 'yes' or a 'no'. Is this the first time you have thought of committing suicide?"  
"No." He shifted, feeling uncomfortable with talking about this.  
"This was your first attempt?" Merritt still phrased it as a question, but they both knew the answer.  
"No."  
"It was before the Horsemen right, way before, your first attempt, you must have been, 20, 19, 18, wait, 15?"  
"14, actually. But that was complicated, I never really considered it to count." Danny replied. He was surprised by himself for talking. He rationalized it with the fact he hated one word answers, and didn't want to say no 3 times in a row.  
"Why?"  
"I'm never going to tell you that. I guarantee you won't get an answer. 16 was the first time I wasn't, provoked, per say." He tried to switch the conversation back round.

"So not including the first one, you've had, 4, no 3 attempts."  
"No"  
Merritt glared. "Liar. Don't make me get Jack, or Dylan. Back to an easier question, Do you prefer coffee over tea?"  
"Yes."  
"Did you live with your parents at 14?"  
He shook his head.  
"See, wasn't that hard. Have you been given a medical prescription before because of your mental illness?"  
"Yes, for both of them."  
"Will, on your own free will, explain why you wanted to commit suicide?  
He shook his head.  
"Will you willing try and work with me?"  
He nodded. "But why would you bother? You haven't exactly had a record of intervening, though you must have seen it before during at least one of your shows." Atlas sneer was back on his face.  
Merritt glared, surprising Danny. "Not gonna answer that, Buffy. Now, who were you most trying to hide this from?"  
Atlas bit his lip and looked down. "Jack, I doubt he has ever dealt with depression before. Lula has no reason to care, and you definitely don't give a damn, you might be a little upset but you'd get over it."  
"And?" Merritt gestured for Danny to go on.  
"I didn't want Dylan to know either."

Merritt looked puzzled then exasperated, he started tapping his fingers on the couch. "Good boy, you actually answered honestly, now, do you deliberately block Hypnosis?"  
Daniel mulled the choice over in his head. "Yes."  
"Now can you take the majority of your block down?"  
"Yes."  
"Completely?"  
He shook his head.  
Merritt looked at him. "Well, I'm going to manage today."  
Atlas scowled. "What makes you think I will cooperate?"  
"Because as much as you hate losing any control, you know you need help. Otherwise you wouldn't have cooperated with Dylan. You're also afraid of disappointing Dylan, after all you do owe him after Macau. You also know that I can get in without your permission given time."

Atlas coved his wince with a nod. He couldn't ever repay Dylan, or any of the other horsemen after nearly getting them killed. He knew McKinnney was just using that fact but the emotion ripping through his brain, his logic, still felt the same. "I'll do it, but only if you agree to certain things. In writing."  
Merritt raised an eyebrow. "What are they? Then I'll decide."  
"You don't look at my childhood, unless absolutely necessary, and then only what you need."  
Merritt gestured for him to go on.  
"You don't pry into stuff you that does not directly affect my current suicidal intentions. You leave my adoptive families professions out of this, you leave as many names alone as you can. Do not plant ant triggers in my head and for the love of God, don't ask for my definition of magic. I'd prefer if you kept what you find out between us, but it's pretty clear you won't."  
"Danny, you know I can't."  
"Won't, can't implies a physical or mental block from doing something. You could choose to not say a word. My final request," he gulped, this was the one he feared most. He pretended he didn't hear the fear in his own voice. "You won't leave me under for anymore than 5 hours, tops. No longer."  
Merritt looked surprised at the response. "Alright, it shouldn't take that long." He handed over a pen, then got up and grabbed a pad of paper from the coffee table. Atlas took them without a word. He was acutely aware that he was under scrutiny when writing. He silently handed it over to the hypnotist. Watching as Merritt signed the agreement and set it on the coffee table. Merritt leaned forward.

"Now I want you to focus sold on my voice, feeling the flood of thoughts floating away...."

Danny felt his mind start to wonder, he tried desperately not to break Merritt's pattern. He could tell his mind was reaching something, but-.  
"  
"Feel your mind clear, clear as crystal Listen only to my voice, and only my voice, free on thoughts,"  
Finally Danny felt himself falling under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had more for this chapter, but I'm splitting it in two because this one is already 1000 words long.


	5. Where did I go wrong? Hypnosis, fear to talk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Horsemen flesh out a plan to help, but to do so means uncovering some painful truths.

  * Dylan



"I think we have a solid plan. The only thing will be wether or not Danny is stable enough to continue shows, or wether he should be doing them at all."  
Dylan said. Straightening the sheets of paper that surrounded him and Lula.  
"Now if you can get Jack. I'm going to go back downstairs." He patted her on the back. Then gave her a half hug. "I'm so sorry, I should have known, or done something."

He went through the door behind the curtain, as he went down the stairs he did not pay attention to the beauty in the spiral staircase, or the hidden runes craved into the railing. His mind was still on the plan, which hinged on what Merritt could do or would do. Dylan knew the eye would ask them to strike at some point, it was only a matter of time. He wanted to help the Eye, but his first concern was the Horsemen. If Danny was going to need more time, then they'd wait. If Jack or Merritt wanted more time, they'd wait. He just hoped they could still function together after this. He would protect them if they couldn't, but he wasn't sure what would happen if someone else left. He got himself so caught up in thought he tripped over the landing. Falling onto his butt.  
Dylan swore as he got himself up. As he brushed himself off, he noticed the security camera. He looked at it. "You didn't see that." He told it.  
_God, I needed more coffee, if I'm talking to cameras_. He thought.

He finally reached the door to the Horsemen's living area. He knocked, and waited. He heard murmurs, then Merritt calling. "Doors open."  
He opened the door, peeking in before he entered. He saw Merritt lounging in the red cushy arm chair, nursing a glass of whiskey. He could just see Danny sleeping on the couch armrest, his head resting on his arm. His wrist cuffed to the coffee table. It seemed calm, too calm, after the rage he'd felt in there early. Like magic, or incredible luck. _But why is Danny handcuffed to the coffee table?_  
Dylan walked in with a raised eyebrow added to his frown. He gestured at Merritt then to Danny. He whispered, careful to disturb the seemingly sleeping magician. "Handcuffs?"  
Merritt's voice made him flinch and attempt to shush the mentalist. "I assure Dylan, he won't wake up for another 2 and half hours. You could start a dance party and he wouldn't stir."  
"And the handcuffs?"  
"He's fine with them. It's his version of a teddy bear or a security blanket . Now I managed to hypnotize Danny-."  
Dylan's right eyebrow went higher.  
"After he wrote a contract, detailing what I could or couldn't do, bastard got me to sign it too.-"  
Dylan's left eyebrow rose.  
Merritt noticed his increasingly disbelief. "It's there on the coffee table, it's written in lawyer."  
Dylan grabbed the pad, then read it. He frowned. " it's incredibly formal, This makes some of my search warrants look like they were written by ten year olds. Did he say where he learned law?"  
  
"No, only that he went to university for a bit, then finished his degree while starting his magic career. He's a tough nut even when he's not deliberately blocking me. You know how the Danny-boy's been doing that?"  
  
Dylan shook his head. "I've just always been immune, so was my father."

The hypnotist took a swig of whiskey and scowled. "He been interrupting me. Apparently he and someone else, or a voice in his head, couldn't really tell, figured out the basic of hypnosis and realized that they could, by being incredibly rude I might add, block hypnosis by literally interrupting their words. Which is why the strobe lights in Macau worked on him, because he couldn't stop it. Shook his ego, being hypnotized like that."

Dylan moved over and sat on the couch, beside the curled up form of Danny. He sighed as he realized that the reason Daniel had his feet out was because his shoes were still on. "You could have tried to make him more comfortable Merritt." His tone was reproachful. "All you had to do was tell him to take them off."  
Dylan ignored Merritt's eye roll as he removed Danny's shoes and placed them on the ground. His fingers combed through the other horsemen hair, then settled on Atlas's shoulder.  
"Dylan, now I realize that you have feelings for Danny, but-."  
"I know, there's a time and place, and this isn't it. Besides Danny is straight as a whistle. He just has a really, oh what did Cowan call it? A incredibly fuckable attitude."  
Merritt snorted. "Now, I'm not going to tell you everything, but trust me, Buffy here isn't straight, at all. And he doesn't love Henley. It's one of the reasons she left."  
The hypnotist picked up a throw that Dylan hadn't realized was on the ground by Merritt's chair. He tossed it at Dylan's startled face. "But as you said, this isn't the time. Now I'm gonna save the rest till when the others get here."  
"Could you at least give a summary?"  
Merritt gazed at Danny's sleeping body. "We've seriously fucked up. If Danny's going to get better, stay better, we're going to need to look out for him, both as a team, but also looking out for him because as a person, because he can't. This isn't his first time down here, but it probably won't be the last, and we need to learn how to handle him."  
Now I'm not going to tell the others this, but I broke his rules and implanted a three triggers. Everyone else will know the first two, only you will know the third." He shook his head "The third trigger is the one phrase , 'please James.' It will make him completely compliant until you say 'Atlas' at which point he'll wake up."  
Dylan gripped Alta's shoulder he had been holding. That command was pushing the borders on something he'd allow the horsemen to do to anyone, let alone to a teammate.  
"Now, now, don't get angry, it's only incase of an emergency, like, let's say Danny trying to jump off a bridge. It's a not nice, not easy, but it'll last six months if you leave it alone. And he probably figure out that it's there if you use it. It's why I'm only telling you, and you alone, alright?"

Dylan nodded. As he looked down at the sleeping showman on the same couch. He sincerely hoped he never came into a situation where he needed to use it.

They sat in silence, listening to their own their own thoughts.  
......

  
When Jack and Lula came in Dylan woke from his thoughts, he looked at Jack, silently asking. Jack nodded, he seemed to be calmer than he had been in the office upstairs. Lula seemed subdued, but still on the go. Merritt was more than a little buzzed now, but still mentally present."

  
"Shall we start?" He asked. They nodded.  
"Alright, now we have a half hour before Atlas wakes up. We need to go over everything we know right now, and fine tune the plan me and Lula worked on."

  
Jack looked at Danny. "Can we undo the handcuffs first? He's not going to start harming himself if we take them off?"  
Merritt rolled his eyes. "Be my quest."  
Jack knelt beside Danny and made short work of the lock. He then carefully moved Daniel's hand and put it on the armrest of the couch, like his other one. He then stood up and sat on the larger couch with Lula.

  
Dylan started "So, we all know Danny is suicidal, Merritt can you please tell us what you found?"  
The hypnotist nodded. "Okay, so Danny-boy childhood was fucked up-."  
Lula raised an eyebrow. " okay, now everyone here childhood's were, so could you clarify a teenise bit?"  
"No. Jack came from a rough town, and a harder child services, Dylan's was sad, my brother was a backstabbing ass. Your family is insane. Danny's mother thought it was okay to teach her son to kill people, as in murder was okay, and something he could be punished with. He didn't realize that most people didn't sleep handcuffed to their bed until he was 14, when he came to the states."  
Lula's mouth fell open.  
"Now I had trouble telling who is adopted family, or families were without prying, but he was taken to them by the authorities at 14. He loves them, though apparently his adoptive grandmother died recently, and just as the Horsemen began, his best friend went missing, or sister went missing. It's not helping his mental state, but he doesn't want me to pry further into their professions either, so whatever they do is very dangerous."  
"Now it gets a little more complicated, Atlas went to university, before becoming a magician, by the time he had met Henley, he'd tried to kill himself 3 times. He's been to one of those live in centres for mentally ill, then ran away, after destroying his records. He is diagnosed with OCD, as well as severe anxiety. He may well, I'm pretty sure he's either on, or near the autism spectrum, but I don't have any proof. -." Merritt stopped as Danny stirred.

Everyone stayed completely still as he started to move. Dylan reached a hand to try and make sure Danny didn't fall off the couch he and Danny sat on, but was taken by surprise when Danny grabbed his arm, holding onto it like a teddy bear, and stretched his legs so they went behind Dylan's slumping back. Then he went back to being stock still. Dylan's hand still in his grasp. The other Horsemen snickered at Dylan's predicament.

"Anyway," Merritt smirked. "He ran out of the medication weeks ago, before Macau, it's not helping his condition, but he was already spiralling. He didn't tell anyone partially as his prescription is changed slightly ,though it's not unique and therefore more traceable.He is right that technically, the FBI could have. He's also right in believing it would have been a give away in the states, though less so here as there's public health care, instead of his insurance company. However its not the only thing."

Jack jumped in. "I don't think we been helping, I mean, we always assumed Atlas is okay. Only Dylan checked in on him. I just thought that because he's older he could take care of himself."

"It gets a little worse than that. He thinks you and Lula have no reason to care." Merritt was blunt. "He believes both the Eye and the Horsemen would be happy to get rid of him, after all, the skills he's shown, he believes he doesn't bring much to the table. To him, it doesn't matter Macau was actually the eye, it's still mainly his fault. He also believes that Dylan is both disappointed and betrayed by him. By the way Dylan, that little anger show in the kitchen? A no-no, unless you want something worse than spit in your eye. However, even though he is more than a little scared of you you're the one he's most comfortable with."

Dylan frowned. "I'm a bit surprised, I mean, we've not always been nice to each other."  
"But you've let him have control, you have trusted him. He doesn't believe the rest of us have, other than Jack's fan based awe in that first year."  
Lula leaned forward, some of her eagerness back. "What about Merritt? You never said what he thought about you."

"Atlas is under the belief that I'm a asshole, who likes to flaunt his worst fears in his face. He believes that I would be happy to see him dead, gone, or working as a whore, or just being used like one. He feels I would actively try and make any of those things happen. It doesn't help I may have expressed those sentiments many times, to his face." Merritt sighed while the others cringed. "While I was under the belief that Atlas was asshole who couldn't feel a thing. Even when he drove Henley into leaving. Now I'm stuck here wonder 'Where did I go wrong?'."

They sat in silence for a minute, as the information sink in.

Lula spoke. "Me and Dylan have a little bit of a plan, but we need to make sure it's okay with you boys before we start."  
Jack looked at her and Dylan. " I'm not agreeing to anything that means Danny leaves okay? He needs friends, not a hospital."

Dylan nodded. "Now we want him to stay here, but he is unstable -." He ignored the winces from Merritt and Jack. "and while there are therapists who are trustworthy to the eye, he still needs to be watched 24/7, at least till he's back on his medication and isn't about to kill himself."

"We thought everyone could help, but that we should have one main person being, well now, being me as I'm the person Merritt thinks he will respond best to. I'm going to be pretty much glued to his side for a bit." He glanced at Lula.

Lula took the hint and continued. "How close they get depends on how comfortable Atlas is with it, the other change was how we can do shows."  
Merritt looked concerned. "Frankly I'm not sure he's well enough to-."  
She glared at him. "What happens if we don't let him? He'll lose faith in us, and frankly Merritt, if I'm right, and you can check this later. The shows,because other people are relying on him, are something he will complete, he will put his plans on hold for. He needs to be needed, as much as we need him."

  
Dylan took it back over. " Things will change though, we need to lessen the amount he's doing, and the risk to himself. That means no moaning over rehearsals, checking in when you're supposed to, and telling him why something won't work Merritt, instead of just stalling him. I'm also going to make sure he's not alone at any point during a trick. I don't really care what it is, but I'm going to make sure he can't accidentally harm himself."

  
Jack looked confused. "Why are you worried about accidents? Wouldn't he be more likely to harm himself deliberately?"

  
"One of the problems with people who are depressed is that they don't really acknowledge the outside world very well, where Danny has been careful in the past, he might slip up." Dylan answered. "The last part of the plan is to be as honest as possible with him. He needs to know otherwise he'll panic from the lack of control. That means him knowing everything."

  
"What about those triggers?" Asked Merritt.

  
Dylan shook his head. "I would prefer in you didn't tell anyone, Danny would hate us for using them, and what's the point of keeping him alive if we take away his life? Because that's why Atlas fears hypnosis, he hates the lack of control or the lack of intellect he has while under. There is only one reason I would you your third trigger Merritt, if Danny had a gun to his head. But otherwise, we shouldn't use any trigger."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a really, really, long chapter. Now in terms of Danny's childhood, I'm not really going to explain to more until I get some feed back.  
> I'm planning a sequel and I had planned to have a crossover with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Agent Carter, though other than some of the backstory that happens behind the Horsemen, nothing else in THIS fic will be affected.  
> Like it? Love the idea? Hate it?


	6. You Won't Will You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny wakes up to find the other Horsemen united, but he can't tell if their on the same side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will one of the few chapters written in Daniel's perspective, I promise we'll have more of Dylan's PoV

"Annnd, wake."

Daniel's brain switched back on as if it was a dim light. His brain was still foggy as if from the sleep, one longer he'd had in days. He opened his eyes and realized he was holding someone's arm as if it was a pillow. He glanced up, blushing when he realized it was Dylan's. He started to sit himself up brushing off the afghan that usually sat on the cushy arm chair. He looked around at the other Horsemen, who he had not remembered being there. They stared at him quietly. Merritt was looking at him, giving him that look. Lula was twitching, but rather calm, otherwise. Jack glanced at him, but wouldn't meet his gaze, which was unusual, but he decided to let it go for now. Finally he looked at Dylan, who met his gaze and smiled slightly at him. "How long have you been here?"

"We came in around 2 hours ago." Dylan answered. "How much do you remember?"  
"Some, it's, it's hard to find, like something you can only see at the edge of your vision and when you try to look at it, it fades, feels weird." He shook his head. "I see what she meant by losing time." He muttered. "Did he start making me do stuff or worse, made me act like him?"

Dylan's brow furrowed. It made Danny feel guilty, but he didn't understand why Dylan was giving that look. Danny scowled back, crossing his arms, Danny's fingernails bit into his arms. He folded up his legs so they weren't touching Dylan anymore. He turned himself so he faced Merritt the others, not Dylan. The silence stretched out, as Danny waited for Dylan to get angry again.

Lula tapped her fingers against her knee. "I'm just going to break the tension here, and just go, ah, do something. Anyone want lunch?"

With that the silence broke and the Horsemen laughed. Daniel inwardly thanked Lula for doing that as he snickered. Dylan was the only one not outright laughing, but he had a smile on his face. Lula did a little curtsy, before heading to the kitchen island. The feeling of waiting for a gun to go off faded, which gave him enough courage to ask. "What did you find out?"

Merritt shrugged. "Well, I only told them what they needed to know, like your OCD, which was not a surprise. All of your childhood embarrassments are safe from everyone."   
Danny exhaled. If they knew everything, they wouldn't have said that and he didn't want them to know. He drew up his courage and dignity, such as it was, to speak. He asked. "Am I still part of the Horsemen? Or has everyone decided to chuck me out ?"

The tension came back into the room. Ah yes, this would be million dollar question, the make or break question. Atlas thought. Logically, they should kick me out. After all, ditching a teammate will be less bad press than if I did something harmful on stage. Jack is better at cards, and both Lula and Dylan are capable of pulling of a show. They would better to get rid of me. But they hadn't let him kill himself, so maybe he had a chance. _Please don't stop me, only to get drop of me. You won't, will you? I'd do anything, but I know I don't have anything more to offer._

Dylan spoke. "Atlas, we already decided."

His fingernails dug harder into his arms.

"You're staying in. We aren't going to sideline you, we will have to make changes, and you'll have to agree to cooperating, but we won't ever make you leave, not even if you can't help with the show, or you try to hurt yourself again, okay?"

He bit his lip, and lowered his face to hide from Dylan and Merritt's gaze. He shifted the grip on his arms, not noticing that he was showing them the red marks already in his arms from his nails. He tried calm his breathing, so the tears wouldn't over flow. He couldn't though, he was never very good at it. He couldn't believe it. He was happy, but he knew he didn't, not after what he did, how he'd put their lives in danger.   
"-Danny? Dylan, he's crying." He could hear Jack, his voice sounded slightly desperate. Daniel tried to calm himself down, enough so he could talk, or something. However it felt as if he was getting more wound up. He heard Merritt say something, but couldn't really make it out. He heard Dylan.  
"Atlas, try to breath, just focus on that. Guys, how about you go help Lula? I'll help him. Atlas just breath in and out okay. Breath in, focus on that,"

After a while Dylan managed to calm him down. Atlas cleared his throat. "Sorry, I didn't mean,"   
Dylan smiled slightly, a tired smile but still a smile. "Don't apologize, we get it. You were really worked up about that. Did you think we would insist you stop until you got better?"

"I thought you would throw me out completely. After all it's more practical for everyone."

Dylan rolled his eyes. " Atlas, I'm not going to argue over this, so we'll agree to disagree on that, for now. You understand we can't just like anything happened though. While you were asleep, we sorted some stuff out. It's not negotiable, even if you try to leave, got it."   
Danny nodded and gestured for Dylan continued.   
"You're not going to be alone, anywhere. You aren't going to be performing alone either. We can probably find a way of getting your medication, as well as getting you a therapist that you can talk to honestly. I'm prefer if you talked to Merritt in the mean time, however what you two do   
discuss between you and him." Dylan seemed a little uncomfortable after that statement. " We'd talked about who would be your, um,"  
"Guard? Warden? Responsible Adult? Keeper? Minder? Watch Dog? поручитель? Le Chien de- " he tried to get under Dylan's skin, picking and poking, trying to see how far he could go before Dylan looked at him like he had back in the kitchen.   
"Guardian, I suppose would be the best term. I didn't know you learned French." Despite his efforts Dylan remained calm. "Are you going to keep throwing that phoney attitude in my face, or are you going to ask whatever it is you're aiming for?"  
His reaction startled Danny. "How did you know?"  
"Atlas you always do this when you want an answer, you start acting out. You don't deliberately antagonize me otherwise."   
Daniel swallowed, he hated being figured out. "If that's what you think, don't let me stop you." He said, then added. "Whose the poor nitwit?"  
"Me."   
Daniel snorted, but inwardly he cringed, he didn't want Dylan to see him at his worse and if Dylan followed him, he'd would see it, all of it. "I don't usually share with anyone."

"This isn't usually. If I can't handle it, then you would have to be restrained."  
  
"You are not going to use those blasted drugs to -." He started to shift away from Dylan.

" I didn't say we would use chemical restraints Danny! Don't jump to worse case scenarios, Please. other than handcuffs you aren't exactly the best escape artist. You don't need to act like a scared alley cat Atlas. Look, you've trusted us before and all I'm asking is that you to do it again. Now will you answer some my questions? "   
Dylan was touching his shoulder, Daniel had noticed that Dylan Rhodes, or should he be calling him Shrike now?, first response was usually physical. Usually he would find it annoying, but he never found Dylan annoying. He realized he had spaced out when Dylan cleared his throat.

"Um, sure. Only if you answer mine, like that game, I can't remember what it's called, where one person asks, then the other person answers their question, then gets to ask their own."

Dylan chuckled slightly, it startled Danny, he hadn't realized what he'd said was funny. "Fine, are you okay with this? We can change who if you like."

Danny shook his head. " I'd prefer you, to the others that is. What are you telling the Eye. "

"The truth. Before you protest, they would figure it out anyway. Now, when did this start?"  
" I'm not sure what you're talking about."  
"When did you feel as if ending your life was a good idea?"

"It's not the worst idea I've had you've got to admit, and I had started planning a couple weeks ago, I had intended to leave the horsemen after the Octa show, then do it. I planned to send a letter to Merritt and Jack's safe house, then do it." Danny looked straight ahead, away from Dylan. "Anyway, I have a question, can you smell burning?"  
He turned back to face Dylan as he heard yelps from the kitchen.

Danny waited until he knew the other Horsemen were focused on the burning lunch before he asked Dylan his most important question. "Did Merritt do anything he wasn't supposed to? Did he tell you more than what he told me?" Please don't lie, don't lie, don't lie-  
Dylan looked at him straight in the face. "No, he didn't Atlas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sorry for the long wait between updates, however you'll be happy to know that now I know where the story is going, and updates will be much faster!  
> Thank you for staying with it :)

**Author's Note:**

> please, give me feedback!


End file.
